Malaysian General Election - A Reflection From A Malaysian in Australia

Everyone likes to feel that we have a calling for something bigger than ourselves. During the election season, this manifests as engagement in all things election such as spending ridiculous amount of money to fly home to vote, commenting on social media about the state of affairs and joining political campaign trails. It energises us, gives us a sense of solidarity and a sense of meaning. It gives us hope, however tenuous it may be. 

Even though we think we are doing these for altruistic "patriotism", deep down we are all doing it for selfish reasons. We want to live in a country where the leaders do not rob money from their people and where people are entitled to voice dissent. We want our kids to grow up on a level playing field, where they will be judged by the content of their character but not the colour of their skin. We want a better life for ourselves and our loved ones. 

I have now lived the vast majority of my adult life in Australia. I first came here because of an opportunity, and I have since stayed put. I have now started a young family with a daughter who's turning two soon. My daughter will hold both Malaysian and Australian passport until she turns 18, but she will not speak a word of Malay language, nor will she ever learn the delights of dropping marbles into the wooden vessel in a good game of congkak. Instead she will grow up speaking ABC-accented English while playing a game of Aussie-ruled footy. 

My brother-in-law who has migrated to US once gave a nice analogy about people like us. He said that our great grandfather left China for Malaysia in search for a better life, but a few generations later we have now embarked on a new journey as we migrate to Singapore, Australia, USA and many other countries. Like our great grandfather, we left our family behind and try to claim the new country as our home. 

But where is home? To this day, I still can't answer this very simple question with conviction. 

Whenever I spend a couple of weeks back in Malaysia, I would tell my Australian friends and colleagues that "I am going home". However for all intents and purposes, Australia is now home. This is where my little girl attends daycare and plays with her little friends. This is where I stream my Netflix and Youtube after work. This is where I live my professional life where I find some sense of purpose in providing quality care to my patients. 

In the last five years I spent a mere 114 days in Malaysia - I had to count that when I applied to be a postal voter for the Malaysian General Election. That 114 days qualified me for postal vote (only 30 days minimum required), however it also made me more a tourist than a citizen. I used to be a keen follower of political news in high school and university, but today I get my Malaysian news through Facebook walls and BBC's "also in the news" section - whenever a Malaysian politician makes a name for themselves via embarrassing gaffes. It is only this year that I realised Tun Mahathir is now the opposition leader. 

In some ways though, Australia is also not home. 

I am just a permanent resident, which means that I do not have the voting right in state and national election. Partly because of that I am fairly distanced from Australian politics, and until recently I didn't even know which party was the ruling party in my state. I am lucky that I feel mostly comfortable in my own skin everyday - Australian hospitals are extremely multi-racial so we fit in nicely. Outside work we hang out with some social groups occasionally and it make us feel like part of the community. I love the outdoor barbies (that's barbeque in Australian English) and am starting to occasionally fit Bunnings into our weekend schedule. I love some outdoor hiking and join the ranting about various first world problems. Unfortunately there are still some odd occasions like when a random mad man barged into a Vietnamese restaurant and commanded us to return to where we came from. Such incidence only happens rarely but it dampens our spirit somewhat. 

Some of my Malaysian friends in Australia have either already obtained an Australian citizenship, or in the process of obtaining it. Given our permanent residency status, this is actually a relatively easy process. Because of the Malaysian law, however, this requires relinquishing the Malaysian citizenship.  Over the years, I have held on to the Malaysian passport and will probably do so in the foreseeable future. There's one huge reason behind this - I still want to vote in the Malaysian election. It's the one thing that still connects me and the country where I spent the first 19 years of my life. Over the last two elections, I have painstakingly ensured that I join the voting process through postal vote. It may not amount to much, and there's always the risk of my ballot being sabotaged, but at least I am doing the best I could. 

This election Malaysians will vote for the lesser of two evils. 

Barisan Nasional and Najib has been called out for numerous corruption and mismanagement, and Najib somehow managed to survive despite a scandal which would have easily toppled the national leader in any other country. On the other hand though the opposition is now led by the ex-PM Tun Mahathir, a 92-year-old man who is made the figurehead for the respect he still draws even amongst many opposition supporters. In my mind though Tun M is not much of a better option. People somehow forget that over 22 years, he singlehandedly built this political hegemony by ruthless oppressing his political foes, delegitimising the separation of power, institutionalising cronyism and normalising kleptocracy. The ruling party he now opposes furiously today is essentially his own legacy. He's now chummed up with Anwar and his wife Wan Azizah, and has promised to release Anwar from jail to become PM if he wins, but we all know that he most likely just wants to pave the way for his own son's political future in his last years on earth. 

Given that they are both rotten apples, there's a movement called "undi rosak" which a few of my contacts are part of. Essentially they argue that if we remove the current government only to install someone else that is equally bad, it's no different than if an ex dumps you only to immediately hook up with someone who's no better. 

My personal opinion is that even assuming that they are “equally bad”, the optimum move is still to change the status quo, i.e. to vote for Mahathir's Pakatan Harapan (PH). The biggest incentive for any politician is the fear of losing power, not the fear of losing votes. If these two sound the same to you, I beg you to give some thought about it. By causing a shift in power, it will send the strongest fear to all politicians that losing grip of power in Malaysia is possible, even for a party that has ruled for more than 60 years. That is a strong message, and can only be good for the structural strength of the country’s political tapestry. By undi rosak and allowing BN to hang on to status quo, we are not changing anything or sending any message. Do you think the PH will care that 15% electorate put in an undi rosak this election because of Mahathir? No they won’t. 

To be honest, I am growing slightly more disillusioned as time goes by, and I am not as enthusiastic and optimistic this election. I read through some of my old Facebook posts from the last election, and felt really nostalgic seeing the younger, more enthusiastic version of myself and my friends. A few friends flew home from overseas, gathered and sang Setia ("demi negara yang tercinta...") together the night before election. I also read through the black, depressed posts and profile photos posted days after the election. However we have all gone back to living our lives, despite the despair and anger. Five years is a long time, and we all look very different now. We are at a very different stage of our lives, many of us now have a young child, and we live a very different life. In another five years these children will be attending primary school, another five they will be in high school. We just don't have that many five years in our lives. 

I have taken the very selfish decision of living in Australia and continuing to believe that I am a Malaysian. I selfishly chose what I believe would provide the best quality of life for myself and my children. I will continue to vote in Malaysian election, in hope that it amounts to a small trickle of change that the country requires. In five years I may be writing a very different reflection, but for now that's the part I am doing.